please dont kill meh
So one day I was driving alongside Retards Avenue because I was taking the short route to heaven. I was going to heaven because I wanted to hang out with my homie JC. Now I was tight with the Jesus man, we bonded eating at IHOP, sending each other emojis, we're real pals. Ya see, yesterday I hung out with Satan and we smoked pot and smashed babies, so I wated to give Jesus some time with me to make up for killing my wife so I can get a good spot in heaven because Jesus is the only man I damn trust. Ya see the reason why I'm friends with Satan is because he was trying to buy my soul, but my soul was too expensive cuz I was so amazing. If any of u wanna buy my soul it's 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars on Ebay under the sellername ''Billy's cheap crap from his shit''.
Anywho, I knocked on Jesus' house and he wasn't there so I decided to knock on god's house. And god doesn't exactly take kindly to people interuppting his masturbation sessions so he said "GET THE BLOODY FUCK OUT" He came out the door anyway and looked at me and said, "Ah, well well well if it isn't my sons best friend." He hugged me so hard that my guts flooded out of my mouth, I was okay cuz I was immortal. I asked god, "Do you know where Jesus is?" God said "No" "But can't you see everything?" I retorted back. "No" replied god. He shut the door on my face. Jesus was labeled missing and turned off my immortal button and I jumped of a cliff. Jesus was on top of the cliff, he left and didn't care.